Friday, May 16, 2014

Ashley Madison?

Today, I read this article about why people cheat; women specifically.  I was at first so disgusted by the article and its author that I felt physically sick and aching like I had the flu.  I was horrified that a man would willfully manipulate the emotions of women so openly and with such reckless regard to how it might affect them.  I was even more disgusted to read that he conducted his human experiment while married.

The Cliff's Notes version of the article is that the author sets out to discover why women cheat.  He gets permission to do so from his wife.  He admits to a background of womanizing and manipulation of the opposite sex.  He even seems to brag about it.  He joins and sets up three male profiles and one female profile.  He engages in online chats, cybersex and three physical meetings with women.  He explains to great detail his strategic and purposeful manipulation of one woman in particular, to the end that he invites her to a hotel and she accepts.  Note here that he has described how he has read her insecurities and weaknesses and fully admits to exploiting them.  She accepts his invitation, and then he tells her that she is simply a subject of an article he is writing, that he is married and that he loves his wife.  She throws a deserved drink in his face.

The author concludes that woman don't cheat for sex.  Women cheat because they feel ignored, unappreciated, taken for granted.  They don't want a divorce because they truly love their husbands and their kids, but they want the passion that he invested in her before they got married.  His wife ultimately becomes irate with him.  Not because he almost slept with someone, but because he took time out of his schedule to have lunch with these woman, which was something he had not done for her in so long.

I get it.  I do.  Author's point taken, but there is something that I would like to add, which he simply does not address.  Why do the husbands eventually stop acknowledging their partners as women in the first place?  I honestly don't believe that most men realize that they aren't paying any attention to their wives because they simply don't care.  By the time a man marries and 'settles' down (love that phrase), he is already mourning his lost youth, his dreams of rock stardom that won't ever come true and the ability to bag babes with a bat of his lashes.  There is little to no thought of the wife as a person at all because the man is simply so selfish that she isn't really on his radar unless she forgets to wash his socks.  Is it sexist, yes it is.  And it is also true.  Women are getting smarter, stronger and better.  Men are getting more and more insecure as a result of it.  They won't admit it, but it's true.  I see it every day in the workplace and in my own relationships.  Men have political opinions.  They want to talk about politics, until they realize that you can match their wit and knowledge, and then they aren't so keen.  Men only really want to engage with 'the weaker sex,' 'the softer sex.'  They have no interest in a human with a vagina that has needs of their own, unless she can take a full time job stroking their ego and dick at the same time and keeping their mouths shut.

Lots of you aren't going to like this, and I am ok with that.  Most of you are going to know its true.

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