Friday, January 9, 2015


The spaghetti brain is back.  So many thoughts, in a pile, interwoven.  Happy.  Sad.  Frantic.  Peaceful.  Restless.  All at the same time.  Is it the depression?  I just don't know.  Sometimes it feels like the world is just too much.  Too beautiful.  Too tragic.  I feel to perfect.  And too broken.  I think about Jade so much and I feel anger and sadness and fear and anxiety.  I feel unloveable.  Ugly.  Used.  It is hard to do the right thing.  It is hard to suppress anger.  Frustration.  Confusion.  It is hard to live in a world with so many billions of people and feel so alone.  Solitary.  Misunderstood.

"You live down to expectations."  Chuck Palahniuk

No comments:

Post a Comment