Day 40: Fuck Fear

My least favorite words...

My life depends on them.  Right now.  This pile of noodle feelings and thoughts...  I have to sort through them, one noodle at a time.  Unraveling them without unraveling.

I haven't looked for her profile in about a week.  I haven't asked about her.  Sometimes I am conscious of it and sometimes I am not.  All of the time, it hurts.

He stays and he goes.  Sometimes without physically moving.  It hurts.  I don't know what the future holds and for the first time in my life I might be ok with that.

The feeling of weakness is sometimes overwhelming.  I am coming to despise being called strong because it's a lie.

Insert a zillion positive cliches about overcoming here.

The thing about addiction...

People don't know how to respond to it.  They don't know what to do.  They tip toe around the addict like they have an undiscovered cancer that everyone can see, except the sick person themselves.  They pretend that watching them kill themselves isn't so bad and they don't do anything to help because they are afraid.  They are more afraid of alienating someone, than they are of attending their funeral.  And all of this makes the others, the honest, the most evil people that were for telling the truth.  Because if only one person is telling the truth, then they must be telling a lie.